[Satire & Snark] What is your best worst advice someone might believe?

[bbk]

Listen to sorce

He beat me to it!!!

 

[bbk]

Follow someone’s advice because they have nice looking trees.

 

[bbk]

Repot in spring.

You forgot to add still wait to spring, even if you have broken your pot.

 

[michaelj]

Twice as much fertilizer = twice as much good stuff for the tree.

 

[RJG2]

The fastest way to increase ramification on your conifer is to fully defoliate at least once a year.

 

[Nickagainst1]

As a beginner ive already learned that you should always post non sequitir questions to WP's IG. Its very approptiate.

 

[dbonsaiw]

Rubbing neem oil on it will make your pinus bigger.

 

[Deleted member 32750]

Pinching your trees makes them weak and although the Japanese have been practicing bonsai for centuries, they have no idea about proper horticultural practices! Instead you must fertilize the heck out of your trees and prune then like hedges!

 

[dbonsaiw]

Pinching your trees makes them weak and although the Japanese have been practicing bonsai for centuries, they have no idea about proper horticultural practices! Instead you must fertilize the heck out of your trees and prune then like hedges!

Oh no you didn't! LOL.

The man himself will not reply so ...................... the best way to encourage growth and thicken trunks is to pinch at the first sign of life and keep the tree in a tiny container. Also, a realistic interpretation of a tree ensures that the tree is an exaggerated "S" shape and pads are very important. The goal is for your tree to look either like Princess Leah's hair or one of Byork's poodle hairstyles.

 

[Carol 83]

Repot all tropical's in the dead of winter. Bare root, cut back hard and put in a dark room.

 

[ShadyStump]

Repot all tropical's in the dead of winter. Bare root, cut back hard and put in a dark room.

I've done this. It works.
...
...
Well, they're not dead yet anyway.


Tip: if I tried it and killed the tree, it's only because I did it wrong.
YOU should totally give it a go!

 

[Nate77]

Its ok to cancel a timer/reminder you didn't set

 

[Paradox]

You can repot, prune, and wire all in one session. Then prune some more in a month.

 

[Mike Westervelt]

You only need to water your trees when the weeds in your pot are wilted

 

[Kadebe]

If you want to grow bonsai from seed, you must use Bonsai Seeds

 

[BonjourBonsai]

All conifers love to be bare rooted.

 

[BonjourBonsai]

Newly acquired nursery stock that looks healthy and vigorous must be repoted immediately for the health of the tree.

 

[Cajunrider]

Growing under the care of human so long, bonsai are sentient. All they need is love.

 

[penumbra]

People are smarter than plants.

 

[Srt8madness]

Newly acquired nursery stock that looks healthy and vigorous must be repoted immediately for the health of the tree.

You need to get a newly acquired plant out of soil immediately for the plants health, even if keeping it in a can. Because somehow the plant is lush and green even though it's been growing in that horrible dirt for years.