[Satire & Snark] What is your best worst advice someone might believe?

[cmeg1]

It has been noted and largely accepted trees have a very wide ph acceptability range.

let the tree dry down a bit

potting soil is good for starters

npk is a great foliar spray

bonsai and hydroponics are not related

mychoriza is always a good idea

microbes are not neccesary in bonsai with npk fertlizer application.

You HAVE to use fungicide and insecticide

 

[Crazy Diamond]

Heyy guyss I sell this amazing blue maple seeds just for 20$ per seed, what a bargain!! 100% real no fake, contact me in dm for more details

 

[Cajunrider]

If you want a spectacular bonsai fast get this pack of Rainbow Eucalyptus bonsai seeds.

 

[Bonsai Nut]

No matter how ridiculous it sounds, it works for somebody.

This is actually a pretty wise statement

We probably need a "truth-o-meter" for a "truthiness score":

(1) Always works no matter what
(2) Works most of the time
(3) Probably works, depending on other factors
(4) Probably doesn't work, depending on other factors
(5) Doesn't work most of the time
(6) Never works, no matter what

Examples:
Defoliating a Japanese black pine to increase ramification (6)
Repotting a deciduous tree in the heat of the summer (4)
Keeping a ficus tree indoors over the winter (3)

I'm trying to come up with an "always works" example.

 

[yashu]

The first answer to your question on B-Nut is ALWAYS correct.

 

[Srt8madness]

This is actually a pretty wise statement

We probably need a "truth-o-meter" for a "truthiness score":

(1) Always works no matter what
(2) Works most of the time
(3) Probably works, depending on other factors
(4) Probably doesn't work, depending on other factors
(5) Doesn't work most of the time
(6) Never works, no matter what

Examples:
Defoliating a Japanese black pine to increase ramification (6)
Repotting a deciduous tree in the heat of the summer (4)
Keeping a ficus tree indoors over the winter (3)

I'm trying to come up with an "always works" example.

Trees need an adequate balance of water and light for optimal growth is about the only "always works" thing out there

 

[Leo in N E Illinois]

My secret fertilizer is rock salt.

 

[BonsaiNaga13]

Human urine is just as good as any fertilizer in the market. Perks are ITS FREE, ITS ORGANIC, AND IT KEEPS THE CRITTERS AWAY!

 

[BonsaiNaga13]

The best bonsai come from Missouri cuz MONSANTO

 

[BillsBayou]

If you want a spectacular bonsai fast get this pack of Rainbow Eucalyptus bonsai seeds.

I got my seeds to sprout. In 70 years I'll do my initial cut.

All you need for bonsai success is 100% Akadama, which I happen to sell.

npk is a great foliar spray

I no longer use anything but NPK® fertilizers. My favorite NPK® products are (in no particular order)

• NPK® AF
• NPKerosene®
• NPK® Root Stimulator
• NPK® Root Calmer-Downer
• NPK® Leaf Unburn
• NPK® Squirrel-B-Gone
• NPK® Orange Agent Defoliator
• NPK® Tropical Anti-Freeze
• NPK® Root Goop (formerly NPK® Pot Snot)
• Crystal NPK®
• NPKaren®
• NPK® Gluten Free
• NPK® Box-O-Fleas
• NPK® Squirt
• ¹³N₇ ³³P ⁴⁰K₁₉® Miracle Glo ☢

 

[ShadyStump]

I got my seeds to sprout. In 70 years I'll do my initial cut.

All you need for bonsai success is 100% Akadama, which I happen to sell.


I no longer use anything but NPK® fertilizers. My favorite NPK® products are (in no particular order)

• NPK® AF
• NPKerosene®
• NPK® Root Stimulator
• NPK® Root Calmer-Downer
• NPK® Leaf Unburn
• NPK® Squirrel-B-Gone
• NPK® Orange Agent Defoliator
• NPK® Tropical Anti-Freeze
• NPK® Root Goop (formerly NPK® Pot Snot)
• Crystal NPK®
• NPKaren®
• NPK® Gluten Free
• NPK® Box-O-Fleas
• NPK® Squirt
• ¹³N₇ ³³P ⁴⁰K₁₉® Miracle Glo ☢

It's always funnier when they put thought into it.