The list: You aren't doing bonsai unless you have:

[Dabbler]

32) You aren't doing bonsai unless you can't go on vacation because of your tree's

 

[River's Edge]

33. You aren't doing bonsai unless you change your mind before and after you prune.

 

[Maros]

34. You aren't doing bonsai unless you were climbing down the steep rock hanging on the rope to collect the pine tree.

 

[Cajunrider]

It appears that none of us will be qualified to do bonsai. I am pretty sure that I am not doing bonsai even before this list appears. On the off chance that there are still some qualifiers:
35. You aren't doing bonsai unless you have to kill alligators and water moccasins to collect your bonsai trees.

 

[Dav4]

You aren't doing bonsai if you
36) Haven't purchased at least a monthly mortgage payment's worth of pots from Matt Ouwinga... in one go.
37) Haven't got a room in your house known by all family members simply as "the Pot room"
38) Haven't got motion cameras and lights set up around your garden

 

[dbonsaiw]

39) You aren't doing bonsai if you don't answer questions with "it depends"
40) You aren't doing bonsai if you have more pics of your kids than trees
41) You really aren't doing bonsai if you still refer to "indoor trees"
42) you aren't doing bonsai if you only grow from seed
43) you aren't doing bonsai if you are fond of squirrels

 

[Lorax7]

44. You aren’t doing bonsai unless you have at least one tree imported from Japan.
45. You aren’t doing bonsai unless you have at least considered calling up your municipal utility service to complain that they overcharge you for sewer service because they compute it based on your total water usage even though the vast majority of the water you use never ends up in the municipal sewer system because it goes to water your trees.

 

[dbonsaiw]

46) You aren't doing bonsai unless you've smuggled seeds through customs.

 

[Cajunrider]

46) You aren't doing bonsai unless you've smuggled seeds through customs.

Uh oh.

 

[vp999]

47- You aint doing bonsai until you killed a bunch of trees from wiring, cutting and repotting etc.......
48- You aint doing bonsai when you reluctant to spend money on your essentials but never trees.
49- You aint doing bonsai when thoughts have crossed your mind that you can turn those Home Depot juniper into "The Goshin".

 

[Orion_metalhead]

50.. you are not doing bonsai if youve never seen family members eyes glaze over when discussing the intricacies of air layering, auxin movement, and callous formation when gifting them plants you never needed to air layer to begin with.

 

[Bonsai Nut]

16. You aren't doing bonsai unless your dreams include an automated soil sifter.

Oh! This one hit me hard!

 

[Dav4]

You aren't doing bonsai if your wife doesn't refer to herself as a Bonsai widow.

 

[FreshAirSunshine]

34. You aren't doing bonsai unless you were climbing down the steep rock hanging on the rope to collect the pine tree.

You aren’t doing bonsai unless you still do it when you forget the rope

 

[ShadyStump]

You aren't doing bonsai unless something on this list makes you think, "ooh, I haven't done that... YET."

 

[Paradox]

You aren't doing bonsai unless you apply wire to all the branches of all your trees.

You aren't doing bonsai if you use guy-wires

 

[Paradox]

@ShadyStump
Lol....these aren't supposed to all be serious "you aren't" comments. Some can be to make you crack a smile because they are silly....

 

[Paradox]

You aren't doing bonsai unless you argued about soil for 5 hours

 

[ShadyStump]

@ShadyStump
Lol....these aren't supposed to all be serious "you aren't" comments. Some can be to make you crack a smile because they are silly....

I did because it is. There just isn't an eye-roll reaction to express my feelings on the people who actually believe that particular one.

Oh, BTW, automatic soil sifter:
Take the matching ottoman from a glide rocking chair, replace the top with a box with your screen in the bottom. Attach a lever/handle at the foot, then at midway up to the base where the box attaches. Lever the handle back and forth to shake the box.
Alternatively, mount the apparatus on base of some sort, then link to an electric motor via an arm extending from a flywheel. Depending on the capabilities of the motor a gearbox of some sort may have to be engineered.
Or just connect it all to your exercise bike. That'd work too.

 

[19Mateo83]

#4,876 your not doing bonsai unless you own a @Cajunrider Louisiana bald cypress