I know, right? Can’t go wrong with a JRP x JBP hybrid with a trunk that’s 2.5” wide at the base, no graft, and a reasonably low first branch. There’s a little inverse taper at that first node but it’s nothing a bit of carving couldn’t resolve.
Bonsai Humor Thread. You know you practice bonsai when.....
- Thread starter Shogun610
- Start date
ShadyStump
Imperial Masterpiece
I am dead set on rescuing one of those holly bushes Walmart just got in. Those bastards can't keep a plant alive for nothin'.
Holly is one species that I don’t anticipate ever adding to my collection. Aside from my BRT, which I cut the thorns off before I do any styling work on, my juniper procumbens ‘Nana bonsai are the prickliest things in my yard and I intend to keep it that way, at least until I become old and grumpy and I surpass my trees as the prickliest thing in my yard.
Scorpius
Chumono
When you go on any vacation and have to check out the local landscape nursery to see what they have.
ShadyStump
Imperial Masterpiece
When you're standing by the Walmart tree gulags thinking to yourself, "I haven't shoplifted since I was 12 years old, and it's probably dead already anyway, so..."
HorseloverFat
Squarepants with Conkers
Sooo you use your charisma, wielding the maybe-dead tree as a weapon.. and empty the express drawer and run?
ShadyStump
Imperial Masterpiece
Not quite.
In my mind it played out kinda like special ops movie.
Grizzled veteran sargeant comes across an escapee from the concentration camp while on patrol;
Sargeant:
Dear God, what did they do to you? MEDIC!!!!!Medic: What's up sarge?
[Sees escapee]
Oh my god! 
I've never seen... Sargeant: Get yourself together, soldier! We gotta help it!
Medic:
Alright, sarge. I'll start an IV![While working on the escapee] Call for helo!
Sargeant: [on radio] MASH- ONE- SEVEN, this is B-Nut-7-4-4, do you copy? We need immediate dust-off!
Helicopter sound are heard incoming as the medic continues his attempt at stabilizing the escapee.
Medic: Hang in there, buddy! We're gonna get you outa here. We'll get you patched up in no time!
Shogun610
Masterpiece
When you have cuts and Juniper rash all over your hands. Not to mention copper wire residue on your face.
All my experiences in both tabletop gaming and PC RPGs tell me that picking a fight with NPC shopkeepers is a bad idea but hey, it’s your character, do what you want to do. Roll 1d20 for initiative…
HorseloverFat
Squarepants with Conkers
Well.. my experiences in armed burglary tell me using a tree is less jailtime.
The only things helpful that are transferrable (To reallife “urban combat”) from gaming are, “You kill a bad guy you steal his things.”.. aaand horizon-style aiming!
ShadyStump
Imperial Masterpiece
When a girl sends you a picture of her bush, and you're disappointed it's not a tree. 
HorseloverFat
Squarepants with Conkers
ShadyStump
Imperial Masterpiece
ShadyStump
Imperial Masterpiece
Full disclosure:
I did vote for him back in 2000.
I was 18, it was my first time voting, and I was in US army boot camp at the time.
That's my excuse and I'm stickin' to it
I did vote for him back in 2000.
I was 18, it was my first time voting, and I was in US army boot camp at the time.
That's my excuse and I'm stickin' to it
Shogun610
Masterpiece
When you need a montage for this springs collecting, repotting, & projects
Last edited:
HorseloverFat
Squarepants with Conkers
Excellent.
penumbra
Imperial Masterpiece
I only use the correct pronunciation among bone-si people.
Similar threads
