My suggestion was from the other photo.
Don't see necessarily a problem with the foliage. It's funny, cause when I was out in Sacramento, all of the Juni out there where very leggy. Now, I understand that it has to do with a lot of the types they were using... but, still nonetheless, they looked good even with the leggy appearance. This will shorten up over time obviously... in the mean time, what one can do to compensate is to tighten up the construction of the design. This way no matter what one's does to the foliage it will look compact, and in fact will in the long run be healthier for the tree, seeing you will not have to be constantly trying to reduce it, and can actually allow it to grow longer.
So, how could the design be compacted? Obviously right off the bat, you could compress and bring the branch placement in tighter to each other. This will make the look of the foliage visually appear more airy, supporting your very minimal design. There would still be the the same amount of foliage, but the overall space and weight would feel less. Often branches are laid down right on top of each other almost.
Second, would be that you might consider wrapping with raffia, and bringing the main bend of this branch up at the top of the tree, in tighter towards the trunk. Compressing, and bringing back the foliage placement closer to the trunk, and right under the bend itself, tightening up the design.
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