Just had the sad news a young colleague passed out this weekend. She fought cancer for three years, and she had a lot of energy. She was half my age. I knew she wouldn't make it, it went from her breast to her brain, it was just a matter of time.
I won't ask for an afternoon off for her burial. I hate cold marble plates with cheesy words on them, from your colleagues with love, we'll miss you.
I don't know if I'm sad. I saw her going down from someone full of peps to a walking skeleton in a whig, hardly walking, but still keeping a smile on her face, I'll make it. No, she didn't.
Life sucks sometimes. Reminded me of my father who took three years to die. Last time I saw him I said "See you tomorrow", and he said "no, tomorrow I'll be dead". But I thought I didn't hear right. when I believed in god, I never knew anyone who died. I sometimes wondered if I would feel comfort if I did now, but I don't think so. Losing someone is a hole that will always stay empty in your mind, excepy for the memories of the good times you had. It kills you too in a way. How can people so selfish as to die?...
I'm saying this because you don't know me and I don't know you, because I'm sad and confused. I've been to too many burials now.
Oh boy, I think I snapped, there are things that I can't get off my mind. The sun will rise tomorrow.
Maybe music is a way to recycle pain.