Jokes here please!

[Forsoothe!]

Rainbow eucalyptus does not actually grow in Australia so expecting Aussie experts to know about it is the real joke

So, How many B'Nuts do we have on New Guinea? (But at least Indonesia is big!)

 

[HorseloverFat]

What has four letters, never has five, but always has six..

huh?

 

[Vali]

What has four letters, never has five, but always has six..

huh?

Looks like you didn't skip primary school

 

[HorseloverFat]

I love that joke, because the correct answer is, “yes!”

 

[sorce]

Rainbow eucalyptus does not actually grow in Australia so expecting Aussie experts to know about it is the real joke

that makes sense seeing as how them dropbears are only one color.

Sorce

 

[Mapleminx]

@sorce saw this one and for reasons unknown, thought of you.

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

 

[Mapleminx]

How is life like toilet paper? You're either on a roll or taking shit from someone.

 

[Mapleminx]

What did the leper say to the sex worker? Keep the tip.

 

[Mapleminx]

A family was driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumped against the windshield. Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, dear. That was just an insect." "Wow," the boy replies. "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

 

[Mapleminx]

What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey.

 

[HorseloverFat]

What do you call a leper in the bathtub?

 

[HorseloverFat]

Stew..

 

[Woocash]

Stew..

What goes 99 bonk?

A centipede with a wooden leg.

 

[Mapleminx]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Europe.
Europe who?
No *you're* a poo!

 

[Graft]

I was very impressed with a farmer I saw the other day. He was out standing in his field

 

[Graft]

What did the big flower say to the little flower. Hello Bud!

 

[Graft]

What did the leaves say to George Michael.

Rake me up before you hoe hoe.

 

[Graft]

A man walks over to his neighbour who was gardening.
"What are you doing?" asked the man.
"I'm putting all my plants in alphabetical order" replied the gardener.
"How do you find the time?" asked the man.
"It's right next to the sage" replied the gardener.

 

[Woocash]

I was very impressed with a farmer I saw the other day. He was out standing in his field

I thought that was why the scarecrow won a Nobel prize!

 

[HorseloverFat]

I thought that was why the scarecrow won a Nobel prize!

This is how I’ve heard it as well!