Difficult... Can a bonsai be kept on the outside of a vehicle?

[Matt B]

So, fun idea from the mind of a lunatic. I have a Ford SUV, and what I think would create some fun in this increasingly serious world and solicit some laughs from fellow motorists. I wanted to attach a pot with the words:

CARBON OFFSET

To my trailer hitch and grow a small bonsai in it. I realize this is asking a lot from any tree, and I was wondering if there is a species bullet-proof enough to be put into service in this environment. The state is Florida, so we don't have to worry about freezing. It would be living in the slipstream of the vehicle, so winds would be a bit turbulent, but not hurricane-force. It would have to be a cheap, tough and fast growing species that can tolerate wind. I was thinking some form of Ficus Microcarpa. They are pretty hard to kill. I still have my first tree that was my newbie crash test dummy as I blundered through learning how to keep plants alive. Anyone have any ideas of species, cautionary tales, or general mockery?

 

[rorror]

Mockery, Yes! Reminds me of Richard Hammonds his car;

 

[Crazy Diamond]

Mockery, Yes! Reminds me of Richard Hammonds his car;

Hamster its banned in bonsainut, you have one strike, one more video of him and you will be banned also..

 

[Japonicus]

The heat that rises from the pavement in NW Florida in May and October when I go is insane. July and August, forget it.
Then there's the people that steal potted plants as porch pirates where they hope to score enough to fill a "rig"
to feed their habits through curbside yard sales are 2 factors that would discourage the thought.

 

[Matt B]

Mockery, Yes! Reminds me of Richard Hammonds his car;

God I miss that show. Their humor was the best, and it seemed that they had enough of a leash to do whatever was fun, interesting and funny.

 

[Matt B]

The heat that rises from the pavement in NW Florida in May and October when I go is insane. July and August, forget it.
Then there's the people that steal potted plants as porch pirates where they hope to score enough to fill a "rig"
to feed their habits through curbside yard sales are 2 factors that would discourage the thought.

The heat is a valid concern for sure. Some creative welding and a trailer hitch lock will discourage plant theft, or at least make it not worth the effort. They could take the tree itself, but I wouldn't be carrying anything more valuable than your standard mallzai.

 

[Colorado]

Maybe you would be better off with a bumper sticker?

 

[Matt B]

Got that covered:

 

[ShadyStump]

Can you imagine the windswept look you could get out of that?

 

[Matt B]

Can you imagine the windswept look you could get out of that?

Brilliant! Do windswept the natural way, they said...

 

[Wires_Guy_wires]

The vibrations of driving will never give the roots any ease.
Maybe that's why those home depot units are glued in place.

 

[Matt B]

Can anyone think of a more suitable experiment than a standard ficus? They grow like weeds here, are tolerant of wet and dry conditions and have pretty sturdy branches and leaves.

The conditions will be windy as hell on the way to work, full or part sun (optional depending on how I orient the car) for 8 hours, windy as hell on the way home, and garage parked overnight.

 

[ShadyStump]

Can anyone think of a more suitable experiment than a standard ficus? They grow like weeds here, are tolerant of wet and dry conditions and have pretty sturdy branches and leaves.

The conditions will be windy as hell on the way to work, full or part sun (optional depending on how I orient the car) for 8 hours, windy as hell on the way home, and garage parked overnight.

I really can't. I'd say an elm of some sort might be a better shot just because of the hardness of the wood, and it's ability to take those high winds, but I can't say how they fair in your climate, much less under tailgate conditions.

 

[Paradox]

Have you ever tried to transport a leafed tree in the back of an open pick up truck?
Anything with leaves will lose every leaf with the turbulence created behind the vehicle.

I can't see any tree living under the conditions that they would endure on a trailer hitch.
A pot full of lawn grass would have a better chance

 

[Potawatomi13]

Thieves, heat, bad vibrations, just plain destructive people. Why subject any living thing to this? Write off as Bad idea; not fun one.

 

[ShadyStump]

Thieves, heat, bad vibrations, just plain destructive people. Why subject any living thing to this? Write off as Bad idea; not fun one.

But can't they be the same thing?

We all know you're right, but it is fun to speculate on.

 

[moke]

 

[Wires_Guy_wires]

"Officer, I didn't drive into this tree! It came at me on the highway!"

 

[Brian Van Fleet]

Pretty sure the rule of thumb is using a white van.

 

[Bonsai Nut]

Pretty sure the rule of thumb is using a white van.

All of my years in bonsai, and I have yet to see one of these guys