namnhi
Masterpiece
Uncle, Not sure how your sensei will fare with my sifu.
Things that drive me crazy about bonsai people
- Thread starter shinmai
- Start date
Cajunrider
Imperial Masterpiece
Again my sifu will team up with your sifu and beat us both.
shohin_branches
Shohin
In the midwest we don't usually say sensei. I have a mentor and I work for a curator. My mentor and the curator of the collection I volunteer at just happen to be partners so I go to their house to help with bonsai.
Cadillactaste
Neagari Gal
Oh my gosh...RIGHT!?! Fingernails on a chalkboard!
James W.
Chumono
Too many times:
Newbie: "What to do?"
Me: "That's a nice little tree! Bring it (another time and/or place) and we will help you.
Newbie: Awesome! I'll be there.
-at specified time and/or place-
..................[crickets]........................
Newbie: "What to do?"
Me: "That's a nice little tree! Bring it (another time and/or place) and we will help you.
Newbie: Awesome! I'll be there.
-at specified time and/or place-
..................[crickets]........................
James W.
Chumono
Also
Guy: "Is now the right time to (wrong technique for this species and/or stage of development)"?
Me: "Don't do that."
Guy: "I saw video"
Me: "Saw same. Different species, different stage of development and different climate."
Guy: (muttering "What does he know?") Goes home and does it.
Somehow we never see that tree again.
Guy: "Is now the right time to (wrong technique for this species and/or stage of development)"?
Me: "Don't do that."
Guy: "I saw video"
Me: "Saw same. Different species, different stage of development and different climate."
Guy: (muttering "What does he know?") Goes home and does it.
Somehow we never see that tree again.
shohin_branches
Shohin
*New Bonsai person styles a non-traditional species*
New Bonsai person: "I'm the first person to ever consider this species for bonsai!"
Old Bonsai person: "I have eight of those I've been training for 20 years."
Me: "here's a photo of Nick Lenz's poison ivy bonsai"
I like to remind newbies that we're all insane here.
New Bonsai person: "I'm the first person to ever consider this species for bonsai!"
Old Bonsai person: "I have eight of those I've been training for 20 years."
Me: "here's a photo of Nick Lenz's poison ivy bonsai"
I like to remind newbies that we're all insane here.
BillsBayou
Chumono
That statement is quite profound. Would you be able to recall who said this? I'd like to use the quote.
Apologies to Robert Frost:
I shall be developing bonsai
Some quite cheap or at great expense:
Two roads diverged shaping wood, and I—
I took the one where less monies lie,
And that has made all the difference.
pandacular
Omono
I do recall his name, but he wasn’t a public figure in the community or anything, so I’ll not share.
Cajunrider
Imperial Masterpiece
So I skipped lunch and went to the swamp instead. I got back to the office barely in time for a meeting I scheduled. I am now starving and the only thing left in my office was this tiny jar of mushroom truffle sauce.
It was weird eating that sauce with a spoon.
It was weird eating that sauce with a spoon.
BillsBayou
Chumono
Okay. I'll play this game.
Me: I'm firing .45 hollow point rounds into the back of a tree as a carving technique.
Old bonsai growers?
Me: I'm removing the top of a tree by pulping it with a sledgehammer.
Old bonsai growers?
Me: I've placed a hot piece of uranium glass in the middle of these three seed trays to screw up their DNA.
My dog: This bench looks like a great place to look over the fence. I'll just knock all this crap on the ground.
Wife: No. We're not getting rid of the dog.
FYI: Seeds in the middle of the tray did not grow. Seedlings on the edge of the dead zone had burnt tips and looked worse for wear. Seedlings at the edge of the tray looked fine. They all looked dead when I found the trays on the ground. The dog can no longer get to the bench because it is surrounded with milk crates, open side up.
Keeping with the thread:
It's crazy how many newbies come up to me and ask me for advice on their kookie techniques. "How about you learn bonsai first? We'll screw it up later."
Cajunrider
Imperial Masterpiece
I hope you reload. Ammo is expensive nowadays.
BonsaiPoppie
Mame
I have eaten a crepe or two...
Cajunrider
Imperial Masterpiece
Okay. I'll play this game.
Me: I'm firing .45 hollow point rounds into the back of a tree as a carving technique.
Old bonsai growers?
Peter Chan uses his ax. I use my bush knife.
Me: I'm removing the top of a tree by pulping it with a sledgehammer.
Old bonsai growers?
You got me there. I can’t think of a better pulper.
Me: I've placed a hot piece of uranium glass in the middle of these three seed trays to screw up their DNA.
I use a concoction of unknown pesticides
My dog: This bench looks like a great place to look over the fence. I'll just knock all this crap on the ground.
Wife: No. We're not getting rid of the dog.
I am Asian. That dog better tread lightly.
FYI: Seeds in the middle of the tray did not grow. Seedlings on the edge of the dead zone had burnt tips and looked worse for wear. Seedlings at the edge of the tray looked fine. They all looked dead when I found the trays on the ground. The dog can no longer get to the bench because it is surrounded with milk crates, open side up.
Keeping with the thread:
It's crazy how many newbies come up to me and ask me for advice on their kookie techniques. "How about you learn bonsai first? We'll screw it up later."
But but isn’t it true that nearly every new life begins with an effing act?
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JudyB
Queen of the Nuts
Yeah this is the one I can’t stand. If you are not Japanese and your teacher is not Japanese then the use of sensei grates on me. Especially when used in profusion as that type generally does. Teacher / student works and I like mentor as well.
pandacular
Omono
I've never heard this, but I'm not surprised that it happens. It's especially odd as I think it's likely hard for a westerner to understand the meaning of the word and relationship of sensei
...at least that's what my sensei Ryan Neil tells me.
penumbra
Imperial Masterpiece
Long Colt or Auto? I am a fan of long colt.
shohin_branches
Shohin
More pots arrived but I worked until 8:30pm (12 hour day again 
) so I will have to take better photos tomorrow.
At this rate I'll never finish repotting
) so I will have to take better photos tomorrow.At this rate I'll never finish repotting
shinmai
Chumono
I spent a considerable amount of time diving in French Polynesia taking pictures of sharks and mantas. The Polynesian language is totally about inflection. One of the locals told me that, depending on pronunciation, the same sentence could tell a woman that she was a beautiful girl, a pig, or a bar of soap.
Interestingly, a formal greeting in their language is “Iorana”, a phonetic interpretation of ‘your honor’.
shinmai
Chumono
When I was in college I had a friend whose mother was Puerto Rican. She rather proudly announced that for his sister’s graduation, she had purchased a beautiful shit cake.
