I'm not going to read this whole post. If you are semi-almost-near an arboretum of some university-type institution, you could find a planting of P.p. 'Various & Sundry'. The cones open ~August thru September, conditional on temperature and dryness. If you ask the High Priest/Priestess if you can gather some cones, they usually are so pleased that you bothered to ask, they'll bless you. If that proves problematic, comb the ground immediately below the cones, which open sequentially, bottom-to-top, and you will beat the #$@^& Squirrels to some. Many of the cones will be down-side-up and can be raped just by tipping them over with your paw underneath catching the children. Rots-o'-ruck!