A point of clarification for my friend Smoke...
Al...
I just want to make sure you know, my dear friend, that when I asked that you be kind it was not in exchange for your honesty. I think there are a lot of ways one can express a different opinion on composition without being unkind. I would very much like to learn from you on whatever merits and faults this composition may have. I can take it... just be nice about it. lol
I know I made some gross blunders last time... I am hoping I did a little better this time. And if not, I'll learn from you again... as I tried to keep your teaching in mind from last time.
Just one request if I might... don't call my work Gaga-esque if you can avoid it. lol
Your friend as ever,
Victrinia