IMHO, this is 'good material' (meaning I think I can easily make it into a decent bonsai),
@bonsai dave .
Regarding the #1 problem, the long straight trunk: it can, in effect, be eliminated visually by placing some foliage in front of part(s) of it - one then sees only a short straight piece of trunk, then it disappears behind some foliage, maybe gets glimpsed again before 'the eye' gets to the top most point. You have quite a bit of foliage that can easily be positioned to accomplish this, regardless of whatever else you would like to do. Making an apex (a green helmet) in the area of where the trunk bends downward would keep this from looking contrived.
Then I think you just need to form the series of foliage puffs into pads on cascading branches. Keep thinner stuff and make the pads smaller/thinner in back to affect the illusion of depth and make these cascading limbs be dramatic so it is the visual focus is the design. Easy/peasy - just a season or two of fiddling to get it right (unless you are a pro that can do it in an hour or two).
Also, I would look for a deep rectangular pot (one that would have one end nearly under where the trunk bends down and the other only so far to the right as necessary to just accommodate the roots). I think 'the eye' can be fooled into 'believing' the whole image is more compact than it really is - I guess a pot in the neighborhood of 6 inches deep (you again get the fun of finding the right one).
... okay, that was easy.
next!