Shimpaku

[misfit11]

Nice tree and nice work. The deadwood trunk has tons of movement and is interesting for sure. But I can’t decide if it detracts from the tree itself. For one thing, it’s a bit white for my taste. I think I’d tone it down with some India ink rather than straight lime sulfur. Also, I think it might tie in better with the tree if you had some deadwood on it as well. I would add some jin and shari. JMHO.
These are just nitpicking critiques considering I’d love to have this tree on my bench.

 

[Fishtank307]

Nice tree and nice work. The deadwood trunk has tons of movement and is interesting for sure. But I can’t decide if it detracts from the tree itself. For one thing, it’s a bit white for my taste. I think I’d tone it down with some India ink rather than straight lime sulfur. Also, I think it might tie in better with the tree if you had some deadwood on it as well. I would add some jin and shari. JMHO.
These are just nitpicking critiques considering I’d love to have this tree on my bench.

Thanks for the critique! I'm working on the shari, but I only cut away some bark in the back. It was styled one year ago and repotted last spring, so I didn't want to compromise its health by creating a large shari in one go... You're right about the live tree missing some deadwood. The two 'trees' both tell a very different story right now. The deadwood still needs some refinement. Good idea to tone it down a bit!
I was also thinking about tilting the deadwood more to the right when I repot it next time.. Or i could try and bend it when it's wet. Not sure if that works..

 

[Japonicus]

Or i could try and bend it when it's wet. Not sure if that works..

I would not. Dead is dead. Carve maybe, bend...naaaaa

 

[misfit11]

It was styled one year ago and repotted last spring, so I didn't want to compromise its health by creating a large shari in one go...

Understood. The tree’s health has to come first.

 

[Fishtank307]

I would not. Dead is dead. Carve maybe, bend...naaaaa

Aw man, I thought I just discovered a new technique!

 

[coltranem]

As nice as the movement in the dead wood is I think it distracts from the tree. I'd tried to find a way for the living tree to interact with the jin

 

[Fishtank307]

As nice as the movement in the dead wood is I think it distracts from the tree. I'd tried to find a way for the living tree to interact with the jin

Good point. I think the deadwood is visually 'heavy' right now and there aren't any real points of interest on the live tree that can draw your eyes away from the dead trunk. As mentioned above, I need to create some deadwood on the live tree as well, so that there's more unity between the dead trunk and the tree itself. Also, if I can move the deadwood more to the right, it would interwine more with the foliage, tying the whole piece together.

 

[GroveBonsai]

Such a beautiful tree!! Just some random humble design ideas.

A) Would a slight rotation of the tree/ an angle change make the two trees relate to each other better? The trees look like they’re on the same plane now. A rotation might allow for some of the foliage to give foreground to the deadwood.

B) you could lower the apex of the live tree to under the apex of the deadwood. Or, just slightly lower it and move it to the right. It seems like they are going into each other at the same height and canceling each other out

I don’t know. Just food for thought

 

[Fishtank307]

Such a beautiful tree!! Just some random humble design ideas.

A) Would a slight rotation of the tree/ an angle change make the two trees relate to each other better? The trees look like they’re on the same plane now. A rotation might allow for some of the foliage to give foreground to the deadwood.

B) you could lower the apex of the live tree to under the apex of the deadwood. Or, just slightly lower it and move it to the right. It seems like they are going into each other at the same height and canceling each other out

I don’t know. Just food for thought

Thanks! The deadwood is planted slightly in front of the live trunk. Turning the tree slightly clockwise would be a good idea actually! This could make the deadwood appear less 'obtrusive'.
The apex should definitely move toward the right. I think pulling it toward the deadwood would create an imbalance in the movement of the whole design. I am however going to try and move the deadwood more to the right when I repot it next time.

I was also playing with the idea of removing the lowest branch... I can't really decide if I like it, or if it's just to low and long. Maybe I can decide once it's planted in a cascade pot!

 

[0soyoung]

For me there is a basic and disturbing problem with the design = it appears to be a plant and a separate stick. There is no sense of "unity". Unity would be created by having some foliage overlapping the jinned stem in some fashion. As you were encouraged to do, you moved the design in the opposite direction. I think @EddyFern has some ideas that help alleviate this problem to my eye, but it still impresses me as a pretty tree and a separate curly stick.

 

[Fishtank307]

For me there is a basic and disturbing problem with the design = it appears to be a plant and a separate stick. There is no sense of "unity". Unity would be created by having some foliage overlapping the jinned stem in some fashion. As you were encouraged to do, you moved the design in the opposite direction. I think @EddyFern has some ideas that help alleviate this problem to my eye, but it still impresses me as a pretty tree and a separate curly stick.

Really appreciate the critique. I agree about the lack of unity between the dead trunk and the live one. This was however (imo) the best design choice for the time being. Mainly because this design followed the movement of the trunk. At first I thought 'blending' the foliage in with the dead trunk would be the best option, but the design would be too static in my eyes. Of course, I'm only a beginner. A more skilled artist would've made that design work. I'm a bit limited by my lack of design-skills...

However, I think the lack of unity can be resolved by:
1) Creating a shari on the live tree. The two trees don't tell the same story right now. The live trees needs to show it has had to struggle to survive. (if you look closely at the base of the live tree, I've already started creating a shari)
2) Rotating the tree clockwise so that the deadwood is more in the back. Pretty much what EddyFern pointed out, they're almost on the same plane, the dead trunk being a bit closer to the front.
3) Bringing the deadwood closer to the live trunk. I think I can do this with the next repotting, just by loosening the two trees and tilting the dead trunk more to the right. That way, I can make the foliage intertwine with the deadwood.

I know this tree isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I like it. I think without the deadwood feature, it would be just another run-of-the-mill corkscrew juniper. But yes, there's definitely room for improvement! I've only had this tree for one year, so who knows what it'll look like in the future!

 

[leatherback]

Aw man, I thought I just discovered a new technique!

I would not. Dead is dead. Carve maybe, bend...naaaaa

Weel.. If you soak deadwood then heat it to boiling the wood will soften and you can set it in a new position. eave it till it fully cools down and dries out and it will stay. Just make sure you do not heat the foliage and living wood!

 

[Japonicus]

Well it’s a great beginning to a long future I believe.
@Fishtank307 when you say rotate the tree clockwise, you’re not talking about the pot but the tree right?
I agree with everything in your last post especially where you said...you like it, and you e only had it 1 year!

If I bought this from you, I would keep the, as you put it “run of the mill corkscrew”, Shari it,
and plant a younger more malleable juniper with the dead wood and form those two together
separately, but you’ve got as many years to work with this as you want to.

I don’t think how these 2 are connected, or how they share the soil
has been divulged in this thread, or if the roots of the dead wood if any, are decaying, dried up
or how long the dead half has been dead.

 

[Fishtank307]

Spring update:

 

[defra]

Looking great !
Id figure this one will go in to a semi cascade pot at some point

 

[Fishtank307]

Looking great !
Id figure this one will go in to a semi cascade pot at some point

Thanks! I'll probably repot it next year. In a cascade pot, finally!

 

[Fishtank307]

Repotted!



Yi Xing pot