Ignore lists and olive branches

Paradox said:
Interesting in that it makes people hate each other and put each other on ignore?... ...
... ...You werent here when the Karaoke Bar was in place. The religious and political fights spilled over into the bonsai boards and cause alot of people that were once friends to not be any more... ...
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Dear Sandy, I do understand your reasoning...
However, I cannot understand why a friendship would be ended because of different religious/political/social and so on viewpoints/opinions.
I myself and my husband we have acquaintances and relations with people of different standpoints.
this fact does not hinder us to the minimum from keeping our friendship with them along with our own different views.
 
Bonsai Nut said:
I like to argue... but I won't ever put anyone on ignore. If I agree with everyone I talk to... how much am I learning? Maybe it's because I'm from a big family where we generally didn't agree on much... so we were always arguing... but we still loved each other at the end of the day. Though I may never be convinced about someone's different point of view, I really really try to understand it - and where it comes from.
Part of me likes to think that even if I argue with you about politics, I could still see you at a bonsai convention, buy you a beer, and have fun talking about bonsai!
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Can not this attitude be a solution, I wonder....
 
M. Frary said:
I've been doing some thinking. Not always a good thing but I believe it is this time.
Everybody here came for the bonsai and everything that goes with it. At least I hope so.
I love all of the interplay about trees,pots and everything else.
What I don't love is the way some of us have been acting. Mainly me.
I come here for unity and a sense of belonging to something much larger. What I've been doing is treating some members here as just words on a screen and have forgotten that they are people too. People who also love bonsai.
There is so much division in our world today and we've let it into a hobby that's supposed to relax and bring people together. At least it should be.
That all being said I would like to extend an olive branch and apologies to all and any I've offended or been a dick to. I'm one for sure but there is no call for me to be one all of the time.
I think that we as a group are all better than this. The bickering and name calling about the politics and religion aren't really bonsai.
We should be United. I don't care if you are a liberal a conservative a Muslim black or white. We all have one thing in common.
Little trees in expensive pottery. Wire,pines,elms,maples,pots,styles.
We skirmish about that stuff and it's what were here for.
So I'm out of all political threads and hope other people feel this way too.
I've cleared my ignore list so I can enjoy everyone's opinion on bonsai.
I'm hoping others do the same so we can a get together and not be divided.
Respond or not.
I love you all and hope we can all make this place about the trees.
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You haven't found Jesus in your tortilla again have you?
 
Steve C said:
so when you start telling people they are wrong for what they feel/believe, your basically telling them they were raised wrong and their parents were wrong.
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It's good for people to reflect on themselves and their upbringing.

But only a certain kind of person understands it that way, explained.

Me, I went to "rainbows" when I was like 4-5 to talk about not having a father....
I got to reflecting on myself at a very early age.
My entire life has been an exercise of "knowledge of self" because of this, and understanding religious contradictions.

Having had plenty of time and direction for finding myself, I've had plenty of time to mull over all the other shit....like politics, law, people, etc eternity!

The Sorceress on the other hand, never had time for self reflection.
Contrary, she was the second oldest of 2 boys and 2 girls and was the one caring for the whole family since 4-5 years old.
Always the one consoling the other children, feeding, bathing.....
This is why she is such a good caretaker, at home, and with the elderly at work.

But....

We always talk about how, "her parents were wrong",like, really blatantly outwardly wrong.
She knows this, but doesn't have the tools to realize when she is doing the same thing, or other wrong.

I, on the other hand, can look at how I was raised and find the "good" things that are actually bad. Like religion.

Anyway, with enough alone time to reflect....

Everyone here has the capability/potential to better themselves and their community by listening and reflecting on what is typed here.

Wether or not those people have what it takes yet to benefit from it I do not know......YET, we all have untapped potential.

But when they do, it will be good for them, so removing politics and Religion talk is detrimental to our community (earth) as a whole.

I have a notion @Quince has had a life of self reflection similar to mine, as he is the only one who truly displays this ability to see the bad in what is widely and generally accepted by society to be good.
Of course, he has displayed this in regards to BONSAI knowledge....
Which proves this is all interconnected.

So who ARE YOU?

I'd love to hear from people on both sides of this spectrum.

Question is, can a non-self reflector dig deep enough within themselves to define their own identity?

Do they have what it takes to say, yes, I am wrong?

If they do, they become stromger.

Sorce
 
sorce said:
It's good for people to reflect on themselves and their upbringing.

But only a certain kind of person understands it that way, explained.

Me, I went to "rainbows" when I was like 4-5 to talk about not having a father....
I got to reflecting on myself at a very early age.
My entire life has been an exercise of "knowledge of self" because of this, and understanding religious contradictions.

Having had plenty of time and direction for finding myself, I've had plenty of time to mull over all the other shit....like politics, law, people, etc eternity!

The Sorceress on the other hand, never had time for self reflection.
Contrary, she was the second oldest of 2 boys and 2 girls and was the one caring for the whole family since 4-5 years old.
Always the one consoling the other children, feeding, bathing.....
This is why she is such a good caretaker, at home, and with the elderly at work.

But....

We always talk about how, "her parents were wrong",like, rlly blatantly outwardly wrong.
She knows this, but doesn't have the tools to realize when she is doing the same thing, or other wrong.

I, on the other hand, can look at how I was raised and find the "good" things that are actually bad. Like religion.

Anyway, with enough alone time to reflect....

Everyone here has the capability/potential to better themselves and their community by listening and reflecting on what is typed here.

Wether or not those people have what it takes yet to benefit from it I do not know......YET, we all have untapped potential.

But when they do, it will be good for them, so removing politics and Religion talk is detrimental to our community (earth) as a whole.

I have a notion @Quince has had a life of self reflection similar to mine, as he is the only one who truly displays this ability to see the bad in what is widely and generally accepted by society to be good.
Of course, he has displayed this in regards to BONSAI knowledge....
Which proves this is all interconnected.

So who ARE YOU?

I'd love to hear from people on both sides of this spectrum.

Question is, can a non-self reflector dig deep enough within themselves to define their own identity?

Do they have what it takes to say, yes, I am wrong?

If they do, they become stromger.

Sorce
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So true.
I'm beginning to see this self knowledge, philosophy, art thing as a function of privilege, and not necessarily the economic kind. The extended childhood of college and or differed parenthood tends to build a mind that is different from one burdened by early responsibility. Not better or worse, but different. I see this in my mother in law. Lost her father at 14, became the guardian of her mother and brother at 19, and a single mother of two by the time she was 23. It can build resilience, "character" even, but leaves some faculties underdeveloped. Not sure where I'm going with this, but understanding my mother inlaw's history has helped me in my dealings with her and others.
 
Quince said:
Not better or worse,
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Absolutely.

We balance each other well...
If only she could believe that!

I feel bad cuz I have taken every thing good she is and use it for myself.

While she only partly uses me.

Feels unfair.

Thanks for the insight!

Sorce
 
sorce said:
We balance each other well...
If only she could believe that!
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That's what I always say about my wife. We are not carbon copies of each other - we "compliment" each other. She is strong where I am weak, etc.

However we do share a similar morality. I'm not sure you can have a successful relationship without a fundamental agreement on basic things like trust, fidelity, respect...
 
I agree with @Bonsai Nut I grew up in a big family where we happily debated religion and politics, I find it quite enriching! As I tell my guys on the jobsite, our differences are our dynamic! I enjoy hearing all the different characters viewpoints, it gets me thinking more constructively.
 
my nellie said:
Dear Sandy, I do understand your reasoning...
However, I cannot understand why a friendship would be ended because of different religious/political/social and so on viewpoints/opinions.
I myself and my husband we have acquaintances and relations with people of different standpoints.
this fact does not hinder us to the minimum from keeping our friendship with them along with our own different views.
Click to expand...

There are friends and family members who no longer talk to each other because of the last election.

I don't see or talk to one entire side of my family (aunts, uncles, cousins) because my parents got divorced.

It happens when people get so embroiled in their own beliefs to the point of not being able to hear the beliefs of someone who thinks different, no matter who they are.
 
I also feel that discussion of differing view points is healthy and necessary. It can open the mind to a different possibility. I too enjoy a rational and thoughtful debate.

Unfortunately today, we have too many people who have an open mind, are willng to hear th eother side and talk rationally about it.
 
Bolero said:
Sandy you are way overboard here...I don't believe the Tea House is Detrimental at all, it just offers the Forum members another Venue for discussion, if someone wants to put a person on ignore for whatever reason that is their Perogative...
My comments to Mike are in Fun, Humor and just plain Silly sometimes...
I feel you are being Oversensitive and need to Lighten up, this is just another Internet Forum Venue ...
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Read my post above this one


I am not oversensitive. You were not here to see it. I was and it got bad a times.
 
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