Dealing with social media

[Darth Masiah]

hurt people hurt people. negativity and anger usually come from a place of fear. i do enjoy trolling a troll now and then, but i really do hope they find happiness, whether it be through a little introspection or some strong psyche meds, hey

 

[michaelj]

Trolls become inevitable with larger numbers like you get, Jelle. I don't have the numbers to get much interest from trolls, even though my content is much more vulnerable to trolls, but once you start getting 10K+ views on the regular, you're going to have them, even if trolls are just the worst 0.01% of your audience. It's a sign of success.

Sucks that they aren't even funny (or at least trying to be) ...

That's what she said?

 

[NateDyk47]

Dear All,

Many of us are on social media, and post about our trees and their progress. I am sure several of you have encountered idiotic remarks of people clearly not understanding what is going on. Recently I have noticed an uptick in very harsh, insulting, personal comments to the point I feel like just not posting anymore. "Moron with double ulcers" is one of them. "Die like you kill this tree" is another that comes to mind. The posters were blocked from my account, but I also realize people who just want to troll make a new account and continue.

I was wondering whether who has experience with this, and how you deal with this.

J.

I'm not sure if you're talking about here or YouTube. But I appreciate your content in both places. I hope you don't let it bother you too much and keep sharing for those of us who do enjoy you.

Nate

 

[WNC Bonsai]

Dear All,

Many of us are on social media, and post about our trees and their progress. I am sure several of you have encountered idiotic remarks of people clearly not understanding what is going on. Recently I have noticed an uptick in very harsh, insulting, personal comments to the point I feel like just not posting anymore. "Moron with double ulcers" is one of them. "Die like you kill this tree" is another that comes to mind. The posters were blocked from my account, but I also realize people who just want to troll make a new account and continue.

I was wondering whether who has experience with this, and how you deal with this.

J.

I have over 40000 subscribers on my channel and on the rare occasions when I get a nasty gram I just reply that “I’m glad you enjoyed the video, keep watching and don’t forget to subscribe”. The last thing you want to do is allow some troll to drag you down into the mud with them.

 

[Warlock]

Leatherback.. you have a video channel??.. where Is it... would love to see some or your stuff!...

 

[vp999]

Leatherback.. you have a video channel??.. where Is it... would love to see some or your stuff!...

Click on the video 2-3 posts above this.

 

[Warlock]

Click on the video 2-3 posts above this.

I thought leatherback was a crusty old bald guy with a gandalf beard... . sorry ,My bad!!

 

[WNC Bonsai]

I thought leatherback was a crusty old bald guy with a gandalf beard... . sorry ,My bad!!

That’s just his other personality!

 

[Gabler]

I thought leatherback was a crusty old bald guy with a gandalf beard... . sorry ,My bad!!

That’s just his other personality!

One thing that complicates online discourse is the lack of demographic information. If I see you in person, then I know your age, for example, and that tells me at least some information about your life history and past experience. If you were born in 1980, then it's a safe bet you grew up without a computer in the house. If you were born in 1990, you'll remember when your family got its first computer, but most of your life has been digital. If you were born in 2000, then you almost certainly don't remember how the world worked without relying on computers.

It also tells me something about how to speak to you. If you were born prior to 1980, I'm not going to risk using profanity around you, since there's a good chance you'll take offense if I drop the F-bomb. If you were born after 1980, it's a safe bet that you won't care in the slightest what words I use to describe disappointment or frustration.

Everyone develops stereotypes to help navigate social situations and avoid upsetting the people they're speaking to. In extreme situations, they turn into bias and prejudice for or against certain groups of people, but innocuous stereotypes are as inevitable as death and taxes because our brains use them to reduce cognitive load to get through the struggle that is everyday life.

If you keep in mind what cognitive tools you're using to make life easier, it can help you avoid a faux pas. For example, I've had more than one friend transition both man to woman and woman to man. At first, I thought implicitly, You're a guy now? I'll treat you just like one of the boys. That line of logic seriously backfired. People raised as women will be offended if you treat them like men. The set of assumptions I use when interacting with men can't be transferred to apply to trans men, and my assumptions about how women prefer to be treated do not translate to trans women. In those cases, you need to unpack your assumptions, even though it's more work and increases the cognitive load of interacting with that person.

All of that is to say, it takes more work to be courteous online, because you have to plan for every possible way someone can be offended, and in some cases, it's just inevitable that some people will be offended.

 

[Cajunrider]

One thing that complicates online discourse is the lack of demographic information. If I see you in person, then I know your age, for example, and that tells me at least some information about your life history and past experience. If you were born in 1980, then it's a safe bet you grew up without a computer in the house. If you were born in 1990, you'll remember when your family got its first computer, but most of your life has been digital. If you were born in 2000, then you almost certainly don't remember how the world worked without relying on computers.

It also tells me something about how to speak to you. If you were born prior to 1980, I'm not going to risk using profanity around you, since there's a good chance you'll take offense if I drop the F-bomb. If you were born after 1980, it's a safe bet that you won't care in the slightest what words I use to describe disappointment or frustration.

Everyone develops stereotypes to help navigate social situations and avoid upsetting the people they're speaking to. In extreme situations, they turn into bias and prejudice for or against certain groups of people, but innocuous stereotypes are as inevitable as death and taxes because our brains use them to reduce cognitive load to get through the struggle that is everyday life.

If you keep in mind what cognitive tools you're using to make life easier, it can help you avoid a faux pas. For example, I've had more than one friend transition both man to woman and woman to man. At first, I thought implicitly, You're a guy now? I'll treat you just like one of the boys. That line of logic seriously backfired. People raised as women will be offended if you treat them like men. The set of assumptions I use when interacting with men can't be transferred to apply to trans men, and my assumptions about how women prefer to be treated do not translate to trans women. In those cases, you need to unpack your assumptions, even though it's more work and increases the cognitive load of interacting with that person.

All of that is to say, it takes more work to be courteous online, because you have to plan for every possible way someone can be offended, and in some cases, it's just inevitable that some people will be offended.

View attachment 517450

Now I feel depressed. You are using 1980's, my children's time frame, as the break point.
Just for curiosity, what do you do with people born in the 1950's?

 

[BrianBay9]

Now I feel depressed. You are using 1980's, my children's time frame, as the break point.
Just for curiosity, what do you do with people born in the 1950's?

I was born in the 50's. My first "computer" was a Texas Instruments calculator (high school graduation present) that actually did square roots! My first computer work was a class in college done on a mainframe using punch cards. I had to hire a special skills person to enter my typewriter version of my PhD thesis into a word processor program. Still have the 8 x 8 inch floppy disk. I was the first person to bring a computer generated graph into my postdoc lab, in 1983.

My life has gone from essentially no computers to AI today. Somewhere in the 2000's I lost the ability (or will) to keep up.

 

[Ming dynasty]

Keep up the good work, ignore them is best

 

[Gabler]

Now I feel depressed. You are using 1980's, my children's time frame, as the break point.
Just for curiosity, what do you do with people born in the 1950's?

I don't cuss around them.

I'm not saying no one born before 1980 uses profanity. I only mean to say that almost no one born after 1980 cares. There has been a cultural shift regarding the use of profanity and vulgarity, and people who were still very young at the time of the shift now consider "the seven words you can't say on TV" to be essentially no different from any other word in dictionary. People who were already well into adulthood at the time of the cultural shift, in some instances, still believe there is such a thing as a "bad word."

 

[TreeJey]

Dear All,

Many of us are on social media, and post about our trees and their progress. I am sure several of you have encountered idiotic remarks of people clearly not understanding what is going on. Recently I have noticed an uptick in very harsh, insulting, personal comments to the point I feel like just not posting anymore. "Moron with double ulcers" is one of them. "Die like you kill this tree" is another that comes to mind. The posters were blocked from my account, but I also realize people who just want to troll make a new account and continue.

I was wondering whether who has experience with this, and how you deal with this.

J.

My wife is also in two minds about the bonsai hobby. She loves to shap a tree, too. But she always sees with her second eye. The tree that is being hurt. Maybe that's what one of your commentators was trying to say. I always tell her that its correct that I taking away something from the tree, but only to giving it the chance to outgrow itself. I guess it's like many things in life. It depends on how you look at it.

 

[MGTT]

Here‘s a funny clip

 

[leatherback]

Thx All.

Crusty old and bold?
Is that how my posts on here profile me?
Hm.. Maybe I should start cussin

 

[MGTT]

No, not at all! I was just joking about what the online trolls look like

 

[Deleted member 47471]

I have observed similar behavior in the realm of Chess. Most commonly, and consistent with the level of trolling you mentioned, that is from people who lack the discipline and patience to learn, grow, and then excel in the thing they endeavor. Whether Chess, sports, Bonsai, etc., they recognize inherent art and beauty but have become frustrated through persistent failure on their own efforts.

What is worse is they typically target people just like them (people who likewise lack in learning/growing/excelling) because their accusations are largely (not always and in every case) true and thus the attack is personal and accurate.

Probably everyone has offended someone online and in one forum or another, regretting a comment they made, but that level of trolling you observed is likely best dealt with by ignoring it altogether. Those people are unworthy of being noticed or attended.

 

[Deleted member 47471]

Thx All.

Crusty old and bold?
Is that how my posts on here profile me?
Hm.. Maybe I should start cussin

Crusty can be fixed by exfoliating. Old can’t be reversed. Neither can being bald. But together they can demonstrate wisdom.

 

[Kanorin]

I have observed similar behavior in the realm of Chess. Most commonly, and consistent with the level of trolling you mentioned, that is from people who lack the discipline and patience to learn, grow, and then excel in the thing they endeavor. Whether Chess, sports, Bonsai, etc., they recognize inherent art and beauty but have become frustrated through persistent failure on their own efforts.

What is worse is they typically target people just like them (people who likewise lack in learning/growing/excelling) because their accusations are largely (not always and in every case) true and thus the attack is personal and accurate.

Probably everyone has offended someone online and in one forum or another, regretting a comment they made, but that level of trolling you observed is likely best dealt with by ignoring it altogether. Those people are unworthy of being noticed or attended.

Great point. If it helps, you can play a little game (in your own head…don’t post it and feed the trolls) wondering what issues the trolls have going on in their own life that they are projecting. For example: Are they making fun of someone who is serious and committed because they struggle with commitment?