Critique Wanted

[Smoke]

Al Keppler here, wishing to see what is going on in this neck of the woods. I am posting this pine here. It is a pine I have had for five years. It sits on one of my benches. It's just not going anywhere and I have no idea why. I would really love to hear some critiques of the piece and do not care how you go about it. Be nice, be mean, be bonsai savvy, be any way you wish to be, You will not hurt my feelings and there will be no retaliation. I just wish to know how people see it. Be detailed in your response, really get in there and tell me what you think is wrong.

 

[Anthony]

Hello Newbie,

keep it healthy, visit Sifu [ @Adair M ]
and he will help you out.
[ Remember I am on ignore so you cannot read this ]
Welcome to Bnut.
Good Day
Anthony

 

[Paradox]

its a cute little trunk.
Branches seem to be well spaced but some might be a bit thin yet, particularly the lower left side and the right side.
Lower left could use some budding nearer to the trunk imo.
Right side looks a little congested but wiring out and bending those branches down might allievate that.
Lower left could also be wired down a little bit more, the branches seem to turn up a little too much for my taste.

All in all, its clearly a work in progress and has a nice start, just needs more refinement and some pad development

 

[Paradox]

Forgot to mention, and this is probably getting nit picky for reasons I will mention

The pot is nice but I dont like it that tree.
I realize its probably an pot that it was put in to grow it out and isnt the final pot for it
Im a bit more traditional in wanting an unglazed, darker colored pot for pines.

 

[Adair M]

Al, it appears to be weak. When pines are weak, in my experience, most of the time it’s a root issue. And I suspect the soil retains too much water. I know you get plenty of sun, so it can’t be that, unless you’re keeping it in the shade. Or possible watering too often to attempt to compensate for your heat.

Also, as you know, water quality “could” be the problem. You know your water quality better than I. Pines don’t like alkaline water.

I know you used to use APL for your mix. If this tree is in APL, repot it next spring.

I’m not a fan of the wires embedded in the trunk. Nothing can be done about them now, I’m just sayn’.

Without actually seeing the tree up close, it’s pointless for me to say anything about the branch structure.

I would not decandle this tree summer. That’s stressful to the tree, and this tree is weak. I would give it organic fertilizer for the remainder of the summer thru the fall, and plan to repot into fresh soil next spring.

If that were my tree, that’s what I would do. (But I would never buy a JBP with a wire embedded trunk. I do have a JWP with a wire-embedded JBP trunk, but that’s pretty much the only way to get a JWP that has been imported from Japan.)

Of course, it could be that the tree is just staging a protest that it’s in a glazed pot! Lol!!!

 

[Brian Van Fleet]

From one fuzzy photo? Come on man, you know better than this. Let’s have a look around the thing.

 

[River's Edge]

A couple of thoughts!
1.The arial root on the bottom left. I would consider removing if it is safe to do so based on the existing root ball.
2. The use of wire to shorten and curl around the branches close to the trunk seems distracting, more of a juniper characteristic. I would consider growing out, cutting back to create new shoots in desired locations closer to the trunk, rather than twisting around. I prefer the first branch movement off a conifer trunk to be slightly downward, not up and around, then down.
3. Over time I believe the slight inverse taper below the first whorl will improve with age. Distracting at this time particularly with the wire mark. Wire left in place could be affecting growth pattern if cambium has not closed over.
4. Cannot see the back side but might consider that for a front on the basis of heavy scars apparent on this side.

Are they important? Only if the owner considers them to be so!

 

[Brian Van Fleet]

Ok, let’s see...
White glazed pot with a Pine is unorthodox.

Wired in, but the wires are showing, up and over the base. It could be done where it’s not visible.

The base is weak on the left side, with a small aerial root showing. Another planting position may be better.

Wire scars on the trunk are not pleasing to my eye, but the trunk does have some movement.

The trunk scar adds character, but I’d make an attempt to heal it, or hollow it and feature it.

Dead branches suggest the tree is weak. I know you do not follow accepted norms of candle-cutting. You will likely have better results if you do.

Wiring branches of pines needs to be a bit more orderly, make pads, and not goofy bends. Create pads, and at the same time fan out tips so each has a place in the sunshine. This tree has branches in the right places, but need to be arranged better. I could probably fix it in 20 minutes. Copper wire holds better than aluminum with a thinner wire.

The apex is incomplete. Wire the apex like another pad on the tree. It is appropriate for lower branches to have sharper angles downward, and upper branches to be flatter. In the styling of many of your trees, you tend to pull all the branches sharply down, leaving yourself with very little to work with when it’s time to style the apex.

 

[Mike Westervelt]

I'll play.

The good: nice trunk movement, compact root system, fairly decent branch placement.

The bad: reverse taper, huge scar on front of trunk, wire scars on lower trunk (imbedded?), root on left emerges too far above soil, lower branches smaller than upper ones, doesn't seem particularly vigorous.

Assuming you intend to create a shohin I would: Move to a larger pot for a few years.
Restrain the upper growth by needle plucking and decandling
Allow the lower branches to run wild and gain strength while maintaining buds close to trunk.
Maybe allow a sacrifice branch up high in the back to run to help the base increase in diameter and smooth out reverse taper.
Remove offending root.
Do a little carving on the scar and expose the cambium around it, apply Kirikuchi-Naoru cut paste liquid (Bonsai Tonight has it) to promote healing.
Not sure what other than time and more mature bark would fix the trunk wire scar.

 

[Paradox]

I didnt even notice the embedded wires from that pic.
Im not a fan of that practice either

 

[Smoke]

Well another thread shot to shit.....Sorry guys I tried.....

Here's some pot choices we could have talked about, and you could have given your thoughts on the tree, but you were aped.

 

[Smoke]

Still picking thorns from my ass at all the cactus thrown my way, pretty pointed too. I do get the point!

 

[Paradox]

Why was the thread "shot to shit"? You asked for opinions on the tree, you got them.
What did you expect or want?

 

[Forsoothe!]

I think you can spice it up a little...

 

[erich_raudebaugh]

If this were my tree, I would pick a branch, probably from the apex or back, and let it grow as an escape branch. You'll get a thicker trunk, stronger tree and fix the scars. You know what you're doing design-wise.

The lower branches could stand to be thicker too, so maybe let one candle per branch grow out.

 

[Potawatomi13]

Nobody mention needle cutting weakens tree?

 

[Forsoothe!]

This tree needs all the needles and fertilizer it can get to thicken up the tiny branches which are otherwise in nice locations. The trunk doesn't need to be any bigger, -ever. It needs to have enough growing points on the branches to let-grow-and-chop one cluster per year for just a few years. It could be spectacular in five years.

 

[coh]

Why was the thread "shot to shit"? You asked for opinions on the tree, you got them.
What did you expect or want?

I'm still trying to figure out what "you were aped" is supposed to mean.

Tree looked better before the work.

 

[AlainK]

Looks good to me.

Looks very good to me.

Be patient, you'll find the right path for it to be at its best.

 

[sorce]

you were aped

Sorce