My wife won't let me trunk chop her living room Ficus.

[_space_bard_]

Need advice. It's in the living room to the left of the TV. It's in constant line of sight from my chair and I find myself fixatiing on it. She's repeatedly told me no and has become more upset at the notion the more I persist. What kind of gift could I get her that would cancel out butchering it while she sleeps? Also, depending on her reaction, does anyone know a good divorce lawyer?

Trunk size is about 3/4 diameter of a 12 Oz can of soda. Nothing special, but it beckons me like a siren. I'm not sure how much longer I can resist.

 

[Cadillactaste]

Some ficus can't be trunk chopped. Benjamina need foliage left on or they die back.

Secondly...I have a potted tree...a tropical hibiscus...for 20 years. It will continue it's life as a potted tree.

Look at it this way...an excuse to buy more material. So you can chop something else.

 

[Paradox]

Walking dangerous ground.
If my husband messed with on of my trees, he would be sleeping in the basement.

I'd explain that it blocks your view of the TV if it actually does that. Otherwise switch places with her and tell her since it's her tree, she can enjoy it better there.

 

[_space_bard_]

This is just a joke thread I'm not actually considering it lol.

 

[Flowerhouse]

You could clean up the presentation of the ficus, without violating your wife's ground rules, by getting it a beautiful pot. Trees deserve beautiful pots.

 

[_space_bard_]

You could clean up the presentation of the ficus, without violating your wife's ground rules, by getting it a beautiful pot. Trees deserve beautiful pots.

I was planning on trying my hand at cement sculpting something when it cools down a little.

 

[Daniel son STL]

These will grow buds when forced to, aka trunk chop. But it will most likely grow buds at the very top only to survive. Not vigorous back budders at all. Ok specimen, but not the best variety of ficus for bonsai as foliage isn’t as compact so the bigger the better for bonsai.
Cuttings from these take almost every time and the tree is pretty much indestructible so there are a few pluses to it

 

[sorce]

Thread Graft points.

Threaten her with the Buck Knife.

Sorce

 

[Cadillactaste]

This is just a joke thread I'm not actually considering it lol.

...

A

Joke.

 

[berzerkules]

You could convince her to airlayer the thing. She could have another ficus and You'd have a clear line of sight to to tv.

I got stuck with a Benjamina years ago and it was getting to be too much. I airlayerd 5 branches off of it this year and it back budded a bunch below. Now I have a smaller trash ficus and I pawned off the airlyers on some unsuspecting acquaintances and family members.

 

[_space_bard_]

You could convince her to airlayer the thing. She could have another ficus and You'd have a clear line of sight to to tv.

I got stuck with a Benjamina years ago and it was getting to be too much. I airlayerd 5 branches off of it this year and it back budded a bunch below. Now I have a smaller trash ficus and I pawned off the airlyers on some unsuspecting acquaintances and family members.

Next time she wants to prune it I'll do some air layers and sell them on the FB marketplace. $20 here, $40 there...it all goes towards my $900 dream acer.